adjectives.

Last night I was sitting with some friends, and we decided to go around and say three adjectives to describe ourselves. Mind you, this wasn't because we are constantly engaging in team building activities, but my house is looking for a new housemate. As we went around, it really seemed like everyone was saying exactly what I thought would be accurate. Kevin said he is kind, and that is him. The ambitious said they were, the those who said they were tough really are. For some reason it was really meaningful to me. I really enjoyed it. But it came to me, and I realized I was saying things I aspire to be. I really would love to be ready and thoughtful. Jennifer pointed out if you decide you want to be that, your probably on the road to it. I think thats true. I'm on the way to those things.

I paused in this blog because I really didn't understand what I wanted out of it. I think I want to be thoughtful. I want to be mindful. I found out a week ago that I have mono. It can really knock a person out. I'm feeling tired. Luckily, the semester is wrapping up, and I'm managing pretty well. The end of the semester brings about those inevitable questions for me like, what am I doing? or who am I? More specifically though, I'm starting to wonder if grad school is really what I want to do. Something about being an intellectual is really appealing, but to think I am one of those is a bit too silly and a bit too self-important for me. I do know that the idea of working full-time with two weeks to explore the entire world sounds really awful to me.

I'm back to the blog. I think I'm onto something here. Lets hope thats right.